Piña Colada Cupcakes

It was National Piña Colada Day on the 10th. Admittedly, I rarely want a a fruity drink as I'm more of a brown liquor person, but I LOVE pineapples and coconut. To commemorate this very important day, I decided to make a truly boozy treat this weekend as I had been slacking lately in that department. That and I attempted to celebrate with a friend on the actual day, which resulted in us having to resort to going to Ruby Tuesday's because normal bars apparently are unequipped to make piña coladas (but that's neither here nor there). Anyway, I attempted to create a cupcake that captured the tropical goodness of this drink during the Bastille Day celebration, which consisted of me pregaming while I baked and resulted in FOUR permutations of a piña colada cupcake (we're past questioning my sobriety at this point aren't we?).


Total time: 1 hour, includes letting cupcakes cool and frosting.


VERDICT: I'm not totally thrilled with the results of this particular experiment. The creamy coconut part of the piña colada didn't shine as much as I would have liked, but my last minute decision to incorporate pineapple chunks into the batter worked out. If I had to do it again, I'd try using coconut cream and maybe a pineapple liquor or jam to give it some extra oomph. Overall, it was a good cake. It was fruity and boozy, but I don't think it really captured the spirit of the cocktail as well as it could have.  Also, I should have let the frosting set in the fridge before tweaking it and frosting the cakes. The alcohol REALLY comes through after chilling the frosting, though not in an unpleasant way.

Left: coconut cream cheese frosting. Right: pineapple buttercream frosting.

Piña Colada Cupcakes

adapted from "Blue Hawaii Upside Down Cupcakes" and "Piña Colada Cake" from Boozy Cakes, yields 1 dozen cupcakes

1/2 cup butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1/4 cup pineapple juice 

1/4 cup coconut rum

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/4 cup flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup finely chopped pineapple (I used canned)

1. Preheat oven 350F. Line cupcake tin with liners.

2. Sift flour, baking powder, spices, and salt. Stir and set aside.

3. Cream butter and sugar together, make sure there are no lumps of butter or sugar.

4. Beat in eggs, one at a time, to butter mixture. Add vanilla, pineapple juice, and coconut rum.

5. Add flour mixture to batter, 1/2 cup at a time. Alternate with chopped pineapple. Mix well.

6. Fill cupcake tins 3/4 with batter and bake for 20-25 minutes or until just set. Cool before frosting with either pineapple buttercream or coconut rum cream cheese frosting.

Pineapple Buttercream Frosting

1/2 cup butter

3 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup pineapple juice

3-4 tablespoons rum (I used coconut rum)

1. Soften butter and sift powdered sugar to remove clumps.

2. Combine rum and juice.

3. Add powdered sugar to butter, 1 cup at a time. Alternate with juice and rum in small batches. You may need more or less juice to get your desired consistency.

Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

1 (8oz) package cream cheese

2 cups powdered sugar

3-4 tablespoons coconut rum

1. Soften cream cheese and sift powdered sugar to remove clumps.

2. Add powdered sugar to butter, 1 cup at a time. Alternate with rum in small batches. You may need more or less powdered sugar/rum to get your desired consistency/booziness.

The original inspiration. Yes, that is my dress.

Booze: it's what's for dinner

In light of the fact that it is summer (yes, the summer solstice isn't until the 20-22nd, but socially summer starts after Memorial Day), I am obsessing over not having rolls of fat like anyone else with a pulse in North America. Thus, I have decided to switch things up a bit and incorporate booze into some non-cake items in an attempt to lay off dessert and be slightly more healthful (I don't envision this lasting very long). Last week, I used up the Kahlua for some boozy mocha brownies for a study date.* In keeping with the spirit of cleaning out bottles, I made some whiskey-marinated steaks.

Time: 5 minutes to prepare marinade, 15 minutes to cook steak.

VERDICT: surprisingly tasty, subtle hint of whiskey at the end of each bite. I suspect this would work really well for something on the grill or something that involves more sauce like steak tips. It'd probably also work really well in a barbecue chicken type situation.


*The brownies came out a little dry so I don't think they're worth writing about until I get them right.

Yes, those are shot glasses.

Whiskey Marinade

1 part whiskey (I used Jack Daniels because that's what I have excessive amounts of)

1 part soy sauce

1/2 part Dijon mustard

1 part brown sugar (I had a clump left in the pantry, white sugar probably works too)

1 part chopped green onion

1/2 part garlic

1. Dissolve sugar in whiskey and soy sauce. Combine with other ingredients in a large mixing bowl or Tupperware and coat meat evenly. I opted to not put precise measurements because I wanted to be able to scale up/down easily later.

2. Depending on what kind of meat you're working with, let the meat marinate between 2 hours-overnight (I cut up a round roast slab into smaller portions so I let them sit overnight).

I suspect the combination of fat marbling and whiskey is what made this tasty.

The finished product. And some veggies in the back.

Strawberry Champagne Shortcake (and Cocktail)

It was the roommate's birthday and, as already established, she loves all things pink and sugary. Last year, I was overzealous with the party cake making. This year was a much more toned down affair. I basically re-hashed the cupcakes from New Year's (day jobs get in the way sometimes, sorry) into a loaf cake. 

Time: 1 hour, includes letting cake cool and having a glass of champagne... or two.

VERDICT: I had the cake in the oven for 40 minutes, which was probably too long, but the strawberry topping hides a multitude of baking sins. The champagne cake batter is a surprisingly versatile one. It paired really well with fresh fruit and whipped cream. And who hates strawberries, champagne, whipped cream, and cake?

It's hard to get a picture when your layers are sliding.

Strawberry Champagne Shortcake*

Champagne cake batter (I used store bought pink sugar in place of regular sugar and rosé champagne)
1 quart strawberries, washed and hulled
1/3 cup of sugar
4 tablespoons champagne
whipped cream (I used store bought)

1. Preheat oven 350F. grease loaf pan.

2. Fill pan, smoothing out any surface lumps. Bake for 30-35 or until toothpick inserted into middle comes out dry (no batter should stick).
3. While cake bakes, slice berries into 1/4" to 1/2" slices (you can be as precise or imprecise as you want). Coat evenly with sugar and champagne. Set aside and chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.

*I know that the definition of a shortcake is contested and there are some who insist that a shortcake involves a biscuit of some kind topped with strawberries. I have never been a fan of the biscuit posing as cake and the only people who persist in perpetuating this cake charade are from the South so I'm going to be Yankee about it and disregard the biscuit business.

So pink! And yes, that is André. Save the good stuff for DRINKING.

Strawberry Champagne Shortcake Cocktail

aka: the Shampagne Cocktail (S is for SHalls)

Rosé champagne
Splash whiskey vanilla
3 tablespoons strawberry-champagne syrup (the run-off from the cake topping)/strawberry liqueur

In a champagne flute, pour in syrup. Add whiskey vanilla. Fill remainder with champagne. Optional: before pouring syrup dip rim in water and bowl of sugar. Garnish with strawberry.

Boozy Bears Part II

In case you were waiting with baited breath after reading Part I of this post, the results are in! No, it did not take a month for the bears to soak up the vodka. It just took me an absurdly long time to muster up the brain power to get a ruler from my room and measure a bear.

Time: 12-24 hours to let bears soak up vodka.

VERDICT: Easiest boozy treat ever. You basically get little bear shaped jello shots (they are rather potent). I recommend that you use separate containers to soak each gummy bear flavor because you are after all putting them in an  organic solvent. No one wants weird puce-colored, unspecified fruit-flavored bears.

After: 2.6 cm bear

Shamrock Shake at Home

It's St. Patty's weekend and I spent ~10 hours in the office staring at data. It was a less than ideal day so I made myself the ideal adult treat. Also, this takes my love of my aerolatte to a whole new level. Mind you, I love my aerolatte more than I love some people. It allows me to indulge my love of lattes without having to drop serious cash on an espresso machine or stand in line at Starbucks (how is there a line when there are 3 of them on every street? HOW?).

No blender? No problem.

(Boozy) Pi Day Mini Apple Pies

I am a huge nerd and love all things STEM (I actually struggle with not writing this like a lab report and am surprised that this reads anything like a decent narrative). Anywhoodles, I celebrated Pi Day much like any other person would, by making pie. I also fortunate enough to have some fresh pie dough in the fridge, which is really a very compelling reason to make pie, no?

Total time: 40 minutes, NOT including dough prep.

VERDICT: I may make all of my pies mini pies if I don't have a group to eat the pie, much more portable (picnics!) and easier to store than a full-sized pie.

Apple Pi!

Mini Bourbon Apple Pies

adapted from Mark Bittman's apple pie recipe in How to Cook Everything, yields 6 mini pies.

1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/16 teaspoon nutmeg
pinch salt
2-3 apples (I used Granny Smith)
1 tablespoon bourbon
3/4 cornstarch
1 pie crust
1 tablespoon butter

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Fit crust into muffin tin (my dough was wadded up, so I just took 1.5" balls and rolled them out into smaller circles to fit). Reserve leftover dough to decorate pies.

2. Toss together the dry ingredients. Peel and core the apples and cut into 1/2 slices. Toss the apples with bourbon and dry ingredients.

3. Spoon apple filling into tin until it is about level with the the tin. Decorate pis with reserved dough and top each pie with a small pat of butter.

4. Bake pies for 30-40 minutes or until crust is golden brown and filling just begins to bubble.

Not the neatest of crust fittings, but whatevs.

Note to self: stick to lattice crusts. No more freeform shapes.

Chocolate Merlot Cupcakes

It was Alison's birthday a few weeks ago. Surprisingly, the Martha Stewart high was still going strong so I made a pot roast and for her birthday cake I combined her two great (food) loves: chocolate and red wine.

Total time: 30 minutes, including time to cool and frost cupcakes.

VERDICT: The merlot flavor is really subtle in the cake. I can see why other recipes recommend using a wine syrup instead of straight wine. Overall, a good dessert with a roast, very at-home/Sunday dinner-y flavor. Alison (and Ken!) liked it so that's all that counts really.

Chocolate Merlot Cupcakes

adapted from "Wine Tasting Cakes" recipe from Boozy Cakes, yields ~1 dozen cupcakes

1/2 cup butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1/2 cup merlot

1 1/4 cup flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

3 oz melted dark chocolate/9 tablespoons cocoa powder

1. Preheat oven 350F. Line cupcake tin with liners.

2. Sift flour, baking powder, spices, and cocoa powder (if you're using it). Stir and set aside.

3. Cream butter and sugar together, make sure there are no lumps of butter or sugar.

4. Beat in eggs, one at a time, to butter mixture. Add melted chocolate (if you're using it) and stir..

5. Add flour mixture to batter, 1/2 cup at a time. Alternate with merlot. Mix well.

6. Fill cupcake tins 3/4 with batter and bake for 20-25 minutes or until just set. Cool before frosting.

Merlot Buttercream Frosting

3/4 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks)

4 cups powdered sugar

3/4 cup merlot

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Soften butter and sift powdered sugar to remove clumps.

2. Add powdered sugar to butter, 1 cup at a time. Alternate with merlot in small batches. You may need more or less merlot to get your desired consistency.